Easier - What's that?

I started back to work full time this week.  As full time as a job that's only going to exist for about two more months can be.  I flew out Sunday night and will fly back Thursday morning.  That plane ride brought back a flood of memories.  The last time I was on a plane was flying home after being told by my mother-in-law that my wife was gone.  I was 1500 miles away that day.  I'm 1900 miles away this week and it's not easier to deal with.  I'm still stuck in a bad dream.  Every moment of every day, I'm consumed with the pain.  The medication helps.  Prozac in the morning, Ambien at night.  Although the Ambien doesn't seem to be doing it's job.  It's 12:30 back home and 10:30 here.  I'm awake...and alone.  No, it's not easier now.  I cry a little less, but the hole in my heart is still there, raw and bleeding.