Monday, May 28, 2012
I had some dear friends ask me last night if I ever found out the cause of Carmen's death. I wasn't aware that I hadn't shared that information with them. That leads me to believe that there may be several others that don't know. "Probable cardiac and respiratory arrest" is what the autopsy report states. From what I have read, Sudden Cardiac Arrest is what it was. Her heart simply stopped beating. Approximately 300,000 people a year die from SCA. Less than 1% survive unscathed. There was nothing wrong with her heart or lungs or any other part of her. Her heart just stopped. I wish it was something else, something I could revel in destroying, but it wasn't anything like that.
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Mark, knowing this should make it plain to you that you are not to blame ... you did nothing to cause this ... it wouldn't have mattered if you had been right there ... it just happened. I know it doesn't lessen the pain you feel at losing her, though. Nothing but time and prayer can do that. Lean on your friends - you have many and all of us want nothing more than to be there when you need us. I know you have a hard time asking for help, and I know that sometimes you just want to be alone, but please don't deny your friends the blessings of being able to serve you and Chandler. Any time, day or night, I am as near as your phone. Much Love to you and Chandler. ;-)
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